do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
