there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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