I want to stick my p in your. b.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
