i would punch a child for taco bell
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
