Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
