Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
