it was like eating out sand paper
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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