having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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