Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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