Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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