Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
