I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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