turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
