The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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