remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
