so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
