So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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