Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
