is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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