How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
