and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
