I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
