mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
