We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
