direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
