I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
