my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
