Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
