so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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