Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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