I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
