I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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