i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
