My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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