i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
