Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
