Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I use my feet as sexual weapons
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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