If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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