why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
