i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What a dumb baby whore.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
