You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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