Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
