i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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