He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
