I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
