It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
