Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
