So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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