Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
