Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
