Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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