hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
