And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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